he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize