It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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