You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize