Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
