If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
