I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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