I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
