Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
