I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Randomize
