I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
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