Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
