My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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