Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
