He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize