its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
