I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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