Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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