Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It's Friday. Sex?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
