I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
