I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
