i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
