i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize