I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
