3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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