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craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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