Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
