The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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