I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The power of my boobs compel you
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
