Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
