I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
