8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
No more Irish car bombs ever.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
