I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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