Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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