There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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