I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
