Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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