I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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