belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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