Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
