Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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