im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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