I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
