to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
