I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
