if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
