Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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