I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
