I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
