I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
