God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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