I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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