he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
