They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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