she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
