I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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