am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
