Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
