The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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