dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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