I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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