I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
