Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize